Hook was profoundly dejected.[…] Good form! However much he may have degenerated, he still knew that this is all that really matters.
From far within him he heard a creaking as of rusty portals, and through them came a stern tap-tap-tap, like hammering in the night when one cannot sleep. ‘Have you been good form to-day?’ was their eternal question.
‘Fame, fame, that glittering bauble, it is mine,’ he cried.
‘Is it quite good form to be distinguished at anything?’ the tap-tap from his school replied.[…] Most disquieting reflection of all, was it not bad form to think about good form?
His vitals were tortured by this problem. It was a claw within him sharper than the iron one…[…]the sword fell from Hook’s hand, and he was at Peter’s mercy.
‘Now!’ cried all the boys, but with a magnificent gesture Peter invited his opponent to pick up his sword. Hook did so instantly, but with a tragic feeling that Peter was showing good form.
Hitherto he had thought it was some fiend fighting him, but darker suspicions assailed him now.
‘Pan, who and what art thou?’ he cried huskily.
‘I’m youth, I’m joy,’ Peter answered at a venture, ‘I’m a little bird that has broken out of the egg.’
This, of course, was nonsense; but it was proof to the unhappy Hook that Peter did not know in the least who or what he was, which is the very pinnacle of good form.[…]Hook was fighting now without hope. […]James Hook, thou not wholly unheroic figure, farewell. J.M.Barrie, Peter Pan
8 Then David went out of the cave and called out to Saul, “My lord the king!” When Saul looked behind him, David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground. 9 He said to Saul, “Why do you listen when men say, ‘David is bent on harming you’? 10 This day you have seen with your own eyes how the Lord delivered you into my hands in the cave. Some urged me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, ‘I will not lay my hand on my lord, because he is the Lord’s anointed.’ 11 See, my father, look at this piece of your robe in my hand! I cut off the corner of your robe but did not kill you. See that there is nothing in my hand to indicate that I am guilty of wrongdoing or rebellion. I have not wronged you, but you are hunting me down to take my life. 12 May the Lord judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you. 13 As the old saying goes, ‘From evildoers come evil deeds,’ so my hand will not touch you.[…]
16 When David finished saying this, Saul asked, “Is that your voice, David my son?” And he wept aloud. 17 “You are more righteous than I,” he said. “You have treated me well, but I have treated you badly. 18 You have just now told me about the good you did to me; the Lord delivered me into your hands, but you did not kill me. 19 When a man finds his enemy, does he let him get away unharmed? May the Lord reward you well for the way you treated me today. 20 I know that you will surely be king and that the kingdom of Israel will be established in your hands.I Samuel 24:8-13, 16-20
I’m 23 weeks as I write this. Let’s see what I can even remember from the month of December, other than Christmas preparations![Read more…]
Aurick turned fourteen months on the seventh of December.[Read more…]
This week I had a doctor’s appointment. It was a very fast visit. The longest part of the appointment was trying to find baby’s heartbeat. It took long enough that I was starting to be very concerned before we finally heard it–I really thought that everything was over. This is the second appointment where baby has been hard to find. I hope this doesn’t indicate something about their personality. As it is, I can’t imagine why it’s been this difficult twice now, except maybe things are even roomier in there than I can tell from the outside? I have no idea.
Other than that excitement, there was nothing particularly special about the rest of the appointment. I didn’t have any questions, so it was basically taking my blood pressure (twice because it was a little elevated) and then I left. Sometimes I do wish I had a doppler at home, and I could just send them the baby’s heart rate and my blood pressure reading and not have to drive the 30 minutes into town. From experience I know that this desire will intensify as I near the second half of pregnancy.
This week I gave haircuts to two Kranslings who needed one. (Is this appropriate to put here? It’s not pregnancy related, except that I gave the haircuts and I am pregnant. I suppose that is good enough.)[Read more…]
It didn’t occur to me how confusing it would be to try and keep up with weeks/months simultaneously. I have no idea if my months and weeks are lining up, and it feels like I’ll have too much of one or the other left over by the time I get to the end. At any rate, please excuse any errors in calculation I am making.[Read more…]
Ephraim is always asking to make things in the kitchen. I had been sitting on this eclair recipe for a few days hoping that I would have enough energy one afternoon to try them. He saw the page open on my computer and asked to help. Sometimes the extra energy I need is just someone else being enthusiastic about a recipe.[Read more…]
Aurick Virgil turned eleven months on the 7th of September.
That was almost two months ago–I am dreadfully behind, but rather than trying to skip this, I want there to be some kind of record. At the time Aurick turned seven months, I was beginning to be sick with Eighth Kransling. And I kept putting the update off and off and off, until here I am, trying to catch up when he’s turning thirteen months tomorrow.[Read more…]
Month 3, week 9
Our first sonogram is tomorrow. I am a little anxious, as always. My sickness took a serious turn towards “most unpleasant” two days ago, and I’m wondering if I’m actually beginning week 10 instead of 9, since week 10 has been, in the past, the week where everything seemed to just get much worse. Since I was a whole week off with Aurick (even though I had a period to go off of that time) I’m wondering if I am this time, too. Tomorrow should give us a clue. I am looking forward to having a due date to base some things off of (namely the fact that I won’t make it to the due date. I know, it’s silly.)
One note on the lack of a period for the basing of calculations: I see this as nothing but the grace of God. Since the beginning of the year I have struggled with a never-before felt sense of futility and anxiety towards having more children. This was distressing and alarming, since it goes against deeply held beliefs on my part about the wisdom of God and the wisdom of men, the value of people, the foolishness of a life based on safety and mere happiness, etc. At the same time I felt this onslaught of doubt, I also experienced an onslaught of rebuttals against the thought that having children in this world is unwise and selfish. These came in many forms, from personal sources and impersonal sources. Sometimes I was tempted to ask the person, “Did God tell you to send me this?”
I have felt some trepidation at the choice coming towards me–once my cycle began again and we had the opportunity to knowingly avoid pregnancy. As it turns out, for the very first time in my life (ten pregnancies) I have conceived before even having a postpartum period. In other words, I didn’t have a chance to make the choice because I didn’t know I had the choice to make yet. Thus, this pregnancy is the biggest surprise of any I’ve had so far. I have no opportunity to be anxious over making the wrong decision because I didn’t even know the decision was possible yet. I am very thankful for that fact. It has saved me a lot of worry.
Month 3, Week 10
Our first sonogram went fine. I saw one little baby with a strong, high heartbeat. I learned I was correct in my guess of a May 1st due date–this means I have been right on track with my measurements of gestation. Since I had very little to go on, I will consider this a bit of redemption for the fact that I was off by a whole week with Aurick. This also means that I experienced my symptoms beginning on the early side, rather than the late side, which could be a pattern for my girls. I am trying not to put too much stock in that, just for the sake of planning, but I will also say I will be surprised if this baby turns out to be another boy. Not disappointed at all, only surprised.
One funny note–at my appointment one of the nurses told me that when the doctor learned I was coming in, he said something along the lines of “Oh good, she’s an expert.” Ha!
My nausea and fatigue became very difficult to handle in week nine, and that extended into weeks ten and eleven. I spent all extra time I could in bed. These weeks were, hands down, the toughest part of the first trimester.
Month 3, week 11
This week was something of a fog, along with week ten. I was mostly in bed, though I did have one or two good days. I found it very difficult to focus on anything, so I wasn’t even able to really do any reading or anything. I just felt sick and exhausted. Occasionally I’d venture out to get something to eat. (Chicken sandwiches consistently work really well for me during the first trimester.)
Month 3, week 12
Finally, a bit of light broke through. The occasional good days became more frequent. I was able to get up and complete some projects around the house, including tackling the MONSTROUS pile of laundry that had been growing throughout my period of sickness. I would still have a couple of good days followed by a couple of bad ones, but everything was just so much better. I still had some problems with my heart racing and being out of breath, even though the fatigue and nausea was easing up.[Read more…]