It didn’t occur to me how confusing it would be to try and keep up with weeks/months simultaneously. I have no idea if my months and weeks are lining up, and it feels like I’ll have too much of one or the other left over by the time I get to the end. At any rate, please excuse any errors in calculation I am making.
This week Jeremy had off for vacation. We tried to get out and do some things as a family. But while I would wake up very energetic, and that energy would wane very quickly. I still had nausea, though it was lessening considerably. It was tough to feel good one day and then feel bad the next. I found myself being mildly frustrated with the on again, off again nature of the sickness, but I still managed to get some things done, which made me feel a lot better.
For some reason, as I started to recover, my mind filled with sewing projects to accomplish. This also happened when I was pregnant with Beatrice. I made some sheets for Aurick’s mini-crib, which had no sheets at all; I’ve been using a blanket tucked around it for forever. So I got fabric to make three sheets for him, and I tried to pick fabrics in colors that could work for a girl or a boy, since the new baby will be using the mini-crib eventually as well. Plus the mini-crib is in the girls’ room, and the color scheme needed to blend somewhat with that room (though it’s quite eclectic anyway, like everything around here, but you know.)
The sheets came together easily, and fulfilled a need both for putting the house back in order as well as preparing for Eighth Kransling. This little project really helped me recover mentally from the weeks of sickness.
I also had a doctor appointment this week. They asked me if I had felt the baby. I honestly had not been paying any attention whatsoever to movement because the movement you feel at this point feels just like a number of other things I feel even when I’m not pregnant.
This week was the first one I really felt the strain from feeling good one day and rotten the next (or next two). I came crying to Jeremy more than once over this–though maybe that happened in week 15, I don’t quite remember. I was trying to ease us all back into a routine (anyone who has had a large group of young children off their routine for an extended period of time knows that this task is both imperative and challenging to accomplish.) I seemed to achieve this one day, then fail the next one or two.
It wasn’t the nausea anymore–that was practically gone at this point. But I was still experiencing debilitating fatigue and the beloved (ahem) “noodle-arm syndrome”, which I learned last pregnancy is due to my heart suddenly skyrocketing to around 140 beats per minute (and yes, that’s measured on a pulse oximeter.) When this happens, I lose strength, get dizzy, and have trouble breathing. Some days I can’t stand up for any length of time without this happening. On those days, it felt like getting things back in the order we desperately needed was impossible, and it wore on me.
Mr. Aurick’s newfound mobility meant that I couldn’t hang out with him on my bed anymore, so most of my resting (to avoid “noodle-arm syndrome”) was done in the nursery, in my big yellow chair, watching Aurick crawl around on the floor and practice his block-stacking skills. I used this time to scheme more sewing projects and try to assess what I needed clothing-wise to make it through another pregnant winter. I’m always more cold pregnant (I’ve never had a “hot pregnancy”).
This week I tried to ascertain what exactly was setting off those heart episodes. I’ve had this happen for the last four pregnancies (including this one) that I can remember: Eldore, Beatrice, Aurick, and now Eighth Kransling. It did seem worse with the two boys than with Beatrice. During week 15, the episodes lessened, but still seemed to occur mostly around eating. I tried modifying what and I eat to see if that had much to do with it. I discovered that what I ate didn’t seem to make a difference, but when I ate did. It was worse on the days I was waiting too long to eat, or eating a lot at once. So frequent, small meals seems like the way to go. Since implementing that, I haven’t had much difficulty with the episodes. I haven’t the slightest idea why this should affect the episodes, but I’ll take it.
Since switching to small, frequent meals meant I had a lot more energy to work with (and could breathe properly when standing up), the end of this week was used to tackle a couple of very big cleaning projects. I can’t really express what a difference getting those things done has made for my outlook. I also think that the greatly increased activity helped alleviate what residual fatigue was still hanging around.
Now, this is fascinating to me, so I’m going to ruminate on it. At this point I can say that this pregnancy is totally different than Aurick’s (2020) and Eldore’s (2017). In those, I never recovered from the fatigue of the first trimester. And I really struggled with learning to rest when needed (which was a lot) and not resent it. I would say that maybe what I needed was just to push through and be active, like I have this time. But I tried that with Aurick, and it didn’t work. It is funny to me that sometimes it helps to push through, and sometimes you can’t push through, but have to submit to the need for rest. How can you tell which time is which? I have no idea how to answer that question. It just reminds me that each pregnancy is different like each child is different, and you can’t shove a new one into the mold left by the last and expect everything to fit. At any rate, I am so thankful that pushing through the fatigue is helping this time, as Aurick’s pregnancy was so very difficult, and I wasn’t relishing the prospect of repeating it.
I still hadn’t felt anything I could unequivocally identify as movement. But I was honestly still not really paying attention.
This week Eldore turned four. Happy Birthday, Eldore!
I had barely any trouble with my heart racing this week. I think maybe once I felt breathless. I wasn’t always paying strict attention to when I was eating, so I’m not entirely sure that’s what was affecting it. I was doing a lot more moving around, though.
I started having trouble this week with water retention, though, which eased up when I backed off of caffeine and paid closer attention to how much water I was drinking. So I will try to watch that more closely.
I think I am more paranoid this time around about something going wrong.
I did feel something that could have been movement this week. I am just not ever convinced that that’s what I’m feeling. Those early movements feel exactly like many other things, and honestly I have the same kind of sensations when I’m not pregnant. So I’m never convinced that I’m feeling what I’m feeling. The pregnancies where I had anterior placenta I had a hard time discerning baby’s movement in these earlier months. I am willing to bet I have anterior placenta again. Our ultrasound is in three weeks, so I will be able to test my theory soon.
I had started a granny square pullover a couple of weeks ago, but decided this week that it was too cold in the house to wear this kind of sweater, so I have regrouped and am making it into a baby blanket instead.