the honey home

Well a good morning to everyone! There’s not a cloud in the sky here and I couldn’t be in a weirder mood. Well, actually, maybe I could, but this one is pretty strange. I didn’t get my coffee this morning because I don’t have any cash, and so I’m sort of floating through the morning with a disjointed sense of unreality. It’s very interesting…feel free to join me!

I’m actually supposed to be practicing my oboe right now…

Do you want to know something really funny? For the past few days I’ve been meaning to write the word “right” but instead I write “write”. I just did it again. Now, this started before I made this journal thing! So stop laughing!

But anyways, I’m supposed to be practicing right now but here I am on Xanga instead! Hmm. I have lessons tonight and this is the only time I have to practice before then. I have an hour before class starts, and I won’t be able to play the thing for more than fifteen minutes before my lips quit working. It’s all good!

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Is there a rule against writing several times in one day? I hope not, because now I’m really not scared anymore and all I want to do is write!

Ha!

I have traces of black paint on my hands from where I was helping paint a display-thingy for the Pro-Life club I’m in. The paint was oil, and therefore not very willing to come off. I had to scrub at it a bit.

Because someone asked, and this is the only way I know how to reply to comments (help, anyone?) in addition to the violin, I have an oboe named Oskar (after my great-grandfather) and I also play the piano and the bass recorder. 🙂 Oskar is very un-cooperative, and I’m no help. And, I’m originally from Kentucky! I’m just at school here in Tennessee.

My poor roomate is sick. She spent $90 today on prescriptions. Isn’t that awful? I’m mad, let me tell you what. So she calls me while I’m at Wal-Mart and asks me to buy cold medicine, but upon further questioning it turns out we already have cold medicine, and la la la…and at the end of the phone call she just starts giggling! The poor dear is so drugged up. It’s wonderful!

I’m at college but I feel as if I were at summer camp.

As a present for the evening, here’s a poem my good friend wrote…

Hope

I found it a name
Because at least then
When someone asks
i know it’s there.
They ask me, “How?”
i shrug
They dont need an answer-
I dont need an answer
You want something more
then you probably dont have it,
at least that’s what i hope.

I love that. Thank you Bryce!

Goodnight, all.
 

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There’s noting like sitting in a room sawing away on a violin just wishing that no one can hear you. The practice rooms in our Music Bldg. should really be soundproof; it’s so incredibly ridiculous that they’re not! Actually, though, I don’t think I did too badly today with Eliot. I can now play “Ode To Joy”. 🙂 (I’ve had the violin for a whole three months).

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I got up late for class this morning. Well, not really late, but later than I would have wished. I did have my alarm set but I think I turned it off after I had pushed the snooze button four or five times. In all I slept and hour and a half later than my alarm was set for. My hair is sort of sticking up on one side in a funny way, but I haven’t missed a day in New Testament yet and I’m not about to start. I’ve made it this far with perfect attendance, why mess it up now?

I was a little late though, because I always get stuck behind people at the coffee stand who like really elaborate coffee things…like, triple expresso mocha lattes with a shot of every single flavor they have…and if I don’t get out there at the exact right time, I’m late to class. Normally I don’t mind, because my favorite coffee person is there, but  he wasn’t there this morning. I’m actually starting to think that he’s avoiding me. Maybe he’s scared of me?

I really should go practice my violin. Sometimes I get so fed up with the darn thing I don’t even want to look at it. His name is Eliot, after T.S.Eliot, as well as my cat who died, who, in turn, was named for T.S. Eliot.

The sun is shining here today, a wonderful break from last week, which was mostly clouds and rain. But here, all of the trees are blooming and the flowers are out, and the mockingbirds are singing ( I love mockingbirds!) so even if the sun isn’t shining the day can’t be too dreary.

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So I’m setting up this site thingy at the wonderful advice of my friend Jenny, and partway through the set-up I have this horrible feeling.

Why on earth am I doing this? I’m not really the kind of person to just post things online for people to see. I really don’t like being put it that kind of vulnerable position. What if people don’t like me? What if they think I’m stupid? What if they think I write badly? What if they think I’m crazy for liking spinach?

As you can see, I run a little bit on the paranoid side of the road. Seriously, have you ever been in a room with several people, or just sitting in rather close proximity to someone, and all the sudden wonder if you smell bad? What if you just stink but you can’t tell because it’s you? What if that person beside you is wishing they could just get up and move because your stench is so unbearable, but they won’t because they don’t want to appear rude?

I wonder that, nearly every day.

I remember my best friend’s psychology teacher saying once that most people develop severe cases of schizophrenia and paranoia during their college years. This is only my second semester, so I have at least three years left to go crazy. Did you know David Bowie has a history of…well…insanity…in his family and was paranoid about going crazy for years? (Or perhaps is still paranoid about it.)

But anyways, what I was saying–I had this horrible-feeling-attack as I was setting up this site. I’m not really used to doing this sort of thing. Seriously, when I was part of an online message board thingy I would ponder over a post for anywhere between fifteen minutes and an hour before I would actually post the stupid thing. Then, I would cringe as I pushed the button and hope to God I hadn’t said anything ridiculous. In nearly five months’ time  I posted comments a whopping twelve times. Maybe this will be good for me then, huh? Broaden my horizons. Confront my fears!

All of the sudden I have this overwhelming desire to put deodorant on…

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