There’s noting like sitting in a room sawing away on a violin just wishing that no one can hear you. The practice rooms in our Music Bldg. should really be soundproof; it’s so incredibly ridiculous that they’re not! Actually, though, I don’t think I did too badly today with Eliot. I can now play “Ode To Joy”. 🙂 (I’ve had the violin for a whole three months).
I got up late for class this morning. Well, not really late, but later than I would have wished. I did have my alarm set but I think I turned it off after I had pushed the snooze button four or five times. In all I slept and hour and a half later than my alarm was set for. My hair is sort of sticking up on one side in a funny way, but I haven’t missed a day in New Testament yet and I’m not about to start. I’ve made it this far with perfect attendance, why mess it up now?
I was a little late though, because I always get stuck behind people at the coffee stand who like really elaborate coffee things…like, triple expresso mocha lattes with a shot of every single flavor they have…and if I don’t get out there at the exact right time, I’m late to class. Normally I don’t mind, because my favorite coffee person is there, but he wasn’t there this morning. I’m actually starting to think that he’s avoiding me. Maybe he’s scared of me?
I really should go practice my violin. Sometimes I get so fed up with the darn thing I don’t even want to look at it. His name is Eliot, after T.S.Eliot, as well as my cat who died, who, in turn, was named for T.S. Eliot.
The sun is shining here today, a wonderful break from last week, which was mostly clouds and rain. But here, all of the trees are blooming and the flowers are out, and the mockingbirds are singing ( I love mockingbirds!) so even if the sun isn’t shining the day can’t be too dreary.
So I’m setting up this site thingy at the wonderful advice of my friend Jenny, and partway through the set-up I have this horrible feeling.
Why on earth am I doing this? I’m not really the kind of person to just post things online for people to see. I really don’t like being put it that kind of vulnerable position. What if people don’t like me? What if they think I’m stupid? What if they think I write badly? What if they think I’m crazy for liking spinach?
As you can see, I run a little bit on the paranoid side of the road. Seriously, have you ever been in a room with several people, or just sitting in rather close proximity to someone, and all the sudden wonder if you smell bad? What if you just stink but you can’t tell because it’s you? What if that person beside you is wishing they could just get up and move because your stench is so unbearable, but they won’t because they don’t want to appear rude?
I wonder that, nearly every day.
I remember my best friend’s psychology teacher saying once that most people develop severe cases of schizophrenia and paranoia during their college years. This is only my second semester, so I have at least three years left to go crazy. Did you know David Bowie has a history of…well…insanity…in his family and was paranoid about going crazy for years? (Or perhaps is still paranoid about it.)
But anyways, what I was saying–I had this horrible-feeling-attack as I was setting up this site. I’m not really used to doing this sort of thing. Seriously, when I was part of an online message board thingy I would ponder over a post for anywhere between fifteen minutes and an hour before I would actually post the stupid thing. Then, I would cringe as I pushed the button and hope to God I hadn’t said anything ridiculous. In nearly five months’ time I posted comments a whopping twelve times. Maybe this will be good for me then, huh? Broaden my horizons. Confront my fears!
All of the sudden I have this overwhelming desire to put deodorant on…